Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Cuckoo for Catnip

I have never watched any of the Harry Potter movies, or any of the Twilight movies, because I don't like kids and I despise teenagers and I don't really like wizards and I really don't like sparkly vampires who carve cock (unless they have boobs and live on True Blood) and I think that the only people who should be legally allowed to read young adult fiction are teenagers, and even they can usually do a lot better. And yet, yesterday I went to see The Hunger Games, and it was actually not bad at all! I mean, sure, everybody knows that Donald Sutherland, Woody Harrelson and Stanley Tucci are totally awesome, and it only made sense that Elizabeth Banks would still look totally hot even in all those ridiculous, unflattering outfits, and Gary Ross did write and direct Pleasantville, which happens to be one of my favorite movies ever, and Jennifer Lawrence is in fact oh so very pretty, but what surprised me the most was that despite the lame romantic plot line between Catnip and her creepy stalker boy (camouflage being one of the basic essentials of efficient stalking), the story was actually really good, and that I actually cared about the characters. Also, in most movies, when a child or a teenager is in mortal danger they usually get rescued at the last minute, and if they actually die then the movie thinks it has the right to try and make you feel like it's the saddest thing that has ever happened to anyone in the entire history of space and time. Well, not in this movie, where watching kids get offed in interesting ways is the main attraction. Since I suffer from a rare bone disorder that prevents me from enjoying a movie if I've already read the book it's based on, I can't really read the other two books in the series, but I'll definitely pick up the first one, if only to find out just how graphic the gory parts really are. Hopefully I'll be able to locate a used copy that doesn't stink too much of teen spirit.

Why so serious in the movie, Jennifer Lawrence? In real life you seem hilarious!

In other news:

Dear Internetz,

Please stop coming to my blog looking for 'hot', 'sexy' or 'nude' pictures of Isabelle Fuhrman. She is barely 15, and I'm tired of getting creeped out every time I check my traffic sources stats.

Sincerely yours,

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