Monday, December 24, 2012

Merry Jewish Christmas 2012

Thursday, December 20, 2012

An Unexpected Technology

Yesterday I went to see The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, and was completely overwhelmed by the effect of the HFR format. High Frame Rate technology is truly amazing to behold. It is also devastatingly awful. By some miracle of alchemy, because it makes motion look so real, it makes the film look like the opposite of what a cinematic experience is supposed to look, which in turn makes it look completely fake, like watching actors move around a film set. Most of the movie looks like one of those old-timey shot-on-video television dramas, while the CGI looks like it belongs in a video game or an amusement park ride. Whenever an actor makes a quick motion, it looks like someone pushed the fast-forward button. Because of the way single-projector 3D setups work, HFR somehow distorts the 3D effect, so that fast-moving objects seem to float against the background. Worst of all, it made my eyes physically hurt during the first hour or so of the screening. And yet, the high frame rate really does turn The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey into an awe-inspiring visual experience. Most of the time I found it to be completely distracting, but when it does work, it works like nothing you've ever seen on a screen. The next two Hobbit films have already been shot, so they'll probably bear similar flaws, but I think it's fair to assume that by the time James Cameron starts shooting the Avatar sequels next year they'll be able to work out the kinks and make HFR look absolutely spectacular.

So how was the actual movie? Well, obviously, it was way too long for is own good, but not half as boring as I thought it would be. The Gollum scene alone was worth the price of admission, and the rest was pretty cool too, so I will definitely be revisiting the world of The Hobbit in December 2013 as well as December 2014, if only to see the cute talking dragon. I sure do love those cute talking dragons.

Sara Canning does not star in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey because she doesn't have a penis, but what she lacks in genitalia she certainly makes up for with a truly glorious mouth, and right now she's the only reason I still watch Primeval: New World.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Enter Cunnilingus Pun Here

Disclaimer: recently someone must have put me on a list of bloggers who write about Israeli indie music, because I've been getting all kinds of messages from publicists to the email address associated with Allergic to Coleslaw. Among them, I have received last week a message regarding an Eatliz show, which included an offer to have my name added to the guest list. It was pretty neat, but it didn't really feel right, seeing as how most of my music-related posts are more about attractive female vocalists than actual music, so I did not take them up on their offer. I was, however, going to attend the show anyway, so I just paid for my own ticket the way a mere mortal would.

So, this week I went to the Eatliz show in Tel-Aviv, which marked the fourth and a half time I've seen them play live, and as expected, it was pretty amazing. I don't really like writing about stuff I don't know much about, and I really don't know much about the technical side of creating and playing rich, beautiful music, but I do know what I like, and I really like Eatliz. The old material is great, the new material is great, and even though I reserve the right to miss Lee Triffon deeply, I couldn't be more pleased with what a fantastic job Sivan Abelson does as lead vocalist, and I can't wait for the new album to come out.

All I wanted for Christmas was for Sivan Abelson to show a little skin at the show, but I guess Santa thought I've been too naughty this year (this photo was taken a few weeks ago). I do, however, believe that she wasn't wearing a bra. So that's something.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Why I Love the Beauty Section


Can't tell if trolling or an actual fan of Bibi.

Shot yesterday in Jerusalem.

Yes, during the Shabbat. Take that, random dick!


or: Pretty Girls I Saw Last Week, Part XII

Being the only person in the room who doesn't speak a word of Russian has sure got its benefits. For example, if someone were to make fun of the creepy loner who came to see the Saint Petersburg-based band all by himself, it wouldn't bother you in the slightest.

And she's even prettier when she's running a 38C fever!

Should You Watch ParaNorman: a Study

Yes. Yes, you should. Right now. Like, this very minute. Go!

Anna Kendrick is cute and pretty and funny and talented and I love her and I want to marry her and sit on the couch with her and watch a movie together and maybe smell her hair a little if she falls asleep but probably not and that's okay because she's Anna Kendrick and she's amazing.

Smack is Whack

or: Pretty Girls I Saw Nine Days Ago, Part XI

Street parties can be pretty fun when the music is both live and cool. Also, it might be worth mentioning that I haven't experienced this much human contact in years, which I guess was sort of nice. foreveralone.jpg

Scary is the new pretty

Yeah, that's me right in front of her. You have that weird dress to thank for hiding all the ugly.

Kindergarten Sign Fail

Creepy babies are creepy.