Thursday, June 16, 2011

At least the vampires were cool

Earlier this week I went to see Priest, and I guess it was sort of fun, once I got past the total lack of originality. I mean, Paul Bettany is pretty hot, but in the spirit of last week's Shavuot, the Jewish holiday that is basically just a big scam set up by dairy farmers, Priest is a motion picture experience that is just about 100% pure cheese, and there are only so many curds I can take in one sitting. And fake 3D is still dumb, pointless and just plain evil. Oh well. At least the vampires in the movie were kinda cool, all big and slimy and with no eyes, and they don't talk, which in this case is a pretty big plus. What creeped me out the most about the movie was that Lily Collins, who was 21 when they shot it and played a character who's supposed to be 18 years old, looked about 13 to me, which made me physically cringe when she almost made out with this guy who's almost 30. I'm so bad at telling women's ages that if I were socially active at all, it could have gotten me into some pretty awkward and possibly criminal situations. So yeah, thank gawd I'm not, right?

I don't care how legal Lily Collins is or how nice her boobs are, she still looks like jailbait to me

In other news: a couple of days ago I was in Tel-Aviv, where I went through nine different used bookstores in under 90 minutes in search of a book I didn't really need. As I was looking for it in one of the stores, this guy who was sitting there there reading a book reached back, took a book off of a shelf behind him and motioned me to take it, without looking at me or saying anything. "Hmm?", I said. He just kept on motioning me to take it. "What?!", I said. He still kept on motioning me to take the book, not saying anything, not taking his eyes off the book he was reading. Reluctantly, I accepted the book, which turned out to be Dostoyevsky's Netochka Nezvanova and White Nights. Yeah. So I put the book down gently, and got the fuck out of there. It's so refreshing to meet people who are ever creepier than I am.


  1. Anonymous20/2/12 16:31

    Shes 23

  2. Anonymous7/4/12 05:21

    Shes such a beautiful woman! I don't see how she looks 13 to you