Thursday, September 24, 2009

Curve this

Today I watched Wanted, directed by the crazy and talented Timur Bekmambetov and starring the unnaturally hot Angelina Jolie and some dude who played a guy with goat legs in some kids movie. I wasn't going to see Wanted when it came out last year. The trailer looked cool enough, but there was one part of it that horrified me. Why would anyone want to shoot wings off flies? What did those cute little CGI flies ever do to anybody? Removing wings from insects is not cool. It's the insect equivalence to chopping a person's limbs off and leaving them to die from blood loss in a ditch somewhere. Not nice. So I was going to ignore the film completely and try real hard not to think about it. One day, a few weeks after the movie came out here, I got really bored at home, so I went to see it anyway. I'm weak, I know. As it turned out, Wanted is actually an extremely fun movie, despite its obvious moral flaws regarding cute animals. Sure, you get mutilated CGI flies, exploding CGI rats, a bunch of dead pigs and a side of beef or two, but most of the human animals in it have an equally hard time, getting beat up and stabbed and shot in the brains. So I guess it's sort of OK, but I still think that Mr. Bekmambetov should get some help, as thinking too much about hurting small animals can be a sign of much, much bigger problems. I kind of liked the Luke/Vader bit and the Fight Clubby vibe in the first few scenes as well as the final one. I thought it was a nice touch that adds a little tiny speck of depth to a movie that's basically a dumb and violent fun ride (it's not me! it's the Loom of Fate!). Wanted was shot in Prague, which gives it a lovely and very European look, despite the fact that the plot takes place in Chicago. Morgan Freeman is as cool as ever, but I didn't buy Angelina Jolie's character for one second. I don't know, Maybe she's a really good actress. The thing is, I can't really tell. She's just so incredibly gorgeous and has such an instantly recognizable look that whenever she's on screen all I can see is her, not the character she's supposed to be playing. Maybe some day, when she finally decides to grow old a little and stop being so crazy-hot, I'll start taking her seriously as an actress.

Does this look like a real person to you?

And now I get to read the little comic book that came with the DVD. Angie's character seems to have cat ears in it! I guess they're supposed to be fox ears. The scene with the poor little flies is in there too. Poor baby flies. I'm sure there's lots and lots of delicious CGI poop for them to feed on in CGI heaven.

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