Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The next best thing to getting your skull smashed to bits

Last night I went to see Saw 3D, and it was just loads and loads and LOADS of fun! I saw the first Saw back in 2004, and to be perfectly honest I wasn't really that impressed with it, so I never bothered to see any of the sequels, and the way that they treated the series in this part of the world definitely did not help. However, when I heard that they were going to show the final chapter here at the movies, I knew that there was no way I would ever allow myself to miss a 3D horror movie. And so, I had quite a bit of catching up to do. I watched the first six movies within three days, in HD, and surprisingly enough, I actually really enjoyed them! This isn't quality cinema in any way, but they were all nice and gory and pretty to look at (talk about extreme color grading), and you know what? The long and complex back story, as it is told in the first six chapters through various flashbacks, is actually a pretty interesting one! Who would have thought! Sure, some of the plot twists (if not all of them) tend to border on the ridiculous, but it's still all very cool and extremely engaging, if you're into that sort of thing. The final chapter is pretty much just more of the same, which on its own would have been more than enough to thoroughly tickle my gore spot, but the fact that it was filmed in 3D has made it into a viewing experience that very nearly made me cream my pants right there in my seat, in front of gawd and the horrified theater ushers and everybody. It's pretty amazing how a $20 million 3D movie (like Saw 3D) can look infinitely better than a $120 million 3D movie (like The Green Hornet, which I saw the day before) simply because IT WAS ACTUALLY SHOT IN 3D. Sigh. I'm already depressed about having to see The Green Lantern in crappy fake 3D this summer. The only thing that I felt was missing from Saw 3D was a decent helping of sleazy, gratuitous nudity. And no, a 47 year old woman with pointy nipples in a slinky nightie doesn't quite cut it for me these days. On the other hand, we do get the extremely lovely Gina Holden as somebody's wife, and at one point she isn't wearing any clothes to speak of, so I suppose that in away I wasn't left completely unsatisfied. In a way. A creepy way. A gross way. An awesome way.

Gina Holden burns alive very prettily

Bonus haiku:

Redhead on the bus
Please look in my direction
It would help later

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