Amber Tamblyn is coming to Israel!!!

Or possibly she's already here! I didn't even know she was on House, and I haven't the slightest idea what it could possibly have to do with coming to the smelly creamy center of the Middle East along with three other cast members, but it's definitely good news for the quality of my masturbatory fantasies in the next couple of weeks. I've always had a thing for her, for obvious reasons, and did you know that her dad was the silly doctor in Twin Peaks? So weird. I mean, he's a totally cool dude, but cute and pretty he is not, while she most definitely is. Oh my gawd, is she cute and pretty. And I've read in an interview with her from 6 years ago that while she isn't Jewish herself, she totally has a thing for nice Jewish boys, and she hopes to settle down with one some day in the future. So yeah, Ms. Amber Tamblyn, I am definitely single, I'm pretty sure I'm straight, I can be very nice when I want to, I am very much Jewish (Jewish mother and mutilated penis included) and I am 100% STD free, so if you happen to be in the general Tel-Aviv area in the next few days and you feel like popping a well overdue Jewish cherry, feel free to contact me at sadjewishdork@gmail.com at any time, day or night. See you soon!

Oh, and could you bring some protection? I'm fresh out