Random Hangover Thoughts

1. This week I went to see the musician whose name sounds like Shmemily Carpool perform live in Tel-Aviv, and it was really great and everything, but the fact that she's married kinda ruined it for me, peepee-wise. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to fantasize about how after the show one of the security guards will invite me backstage at her request, where she'll perform several unspeakable acts upon my person using her fun parts, when I know she's got a husband waiting for her at home? Female musicians should not be getting married, at least not while they're still hot.

2. I think that the fact that every time I return home from a concert all my clothes smell like an ashtray is the universe's way of telling me to get my jeans washed more often than once a year.

3. Last booze night I watched Crazy, Stupid, Love (mostly for the lovely Analeigh Tipton), and more than anything it made me think about how completely irrelevant to my life it was. You see, the movie takes place in an alternate universe where bars are filled with nothing but friendly, attractive and available young women, and where the quickest way to a woman's heart is simply to be as honest as possible. I don't know where you live, but in the reality I inhabit the only kind of honesty women are interested in is the kind that gets them exactly what they want.

4. I think I'm basically over Emma Stone. I still think she's gorgeous and everything, but she keeps playing the same character over and over again, and the cute witty chick thing has already gotten pretty darn old.

5. Also, Ryan Gosling? I'm sorry, but I just don't get what the big deal is.

6. Finally, I watched an interview with Alison Brie today, and I am sad to report that she seems far less cute than Annie Edison. Same great boobs though.

13 year old boys aren't the only ones who desperately fap to you in their bedrooms, Analeigh Tipton!