Yesterday I went to see Zombieland, directed by Ruben Fleischer and starring Woody Harrelson, a Jewish dork with an ear fetish and a whole lot of scary zombies. It's got to be one of the coolest, funniest and just plain awesomest movies I've seen in a long while! It's not so-bad-it's-good, because it isn't bad at all. It's not stupid-but-fun, because it's actually really clever. And it's not really-cool-in-3D-but-I-wouldn't-touch-it-otherwise, because it's simply not in 3D (but the sequel will be). What it is is a hilarious, very gory and at times brilliant zombie comedy that's even better than Shaun of the Dead, its main inspiration. The main character is this dorky and phobic loner who manages to survive in this zombie infested world simply because of these quaint personality traits. On his way back home, back to the family he had never really felt a part of, he meets a loud Twinkie-loving redneck and a pair of cute hustler sisters, and the bloody road trip begins. I really liked seeing the crazy hot Amber Heard as the first chick who the dork gets close to, and also the first one to try to eat him. Personally I would have absolutely loved it if Ms. Heard ever tried to eat me, especially in full zombie makeup, broken foot included. At one point the bunch ends up in the luxurious Hollywood mansion of a glamorous movie star who shall remain nameless (hint: he has the same initials as the common poo and it's not Bob Marley) which leads to a series of cool scenes that don't have much to do with zombies, but are still all very funny. The final scenes in the big abandoned amusement park are pretty awesome, proving just how creepy amusement parks really are, especially at night. It's a scientific fact that anything that's fun and wholesome during the day turns evil and twisted at night. Kinda like your friendly neighborhood pedo. And speaking of pedos! Abigail Breslin is absolutely adorable as the younger sister, even though they didn't let her use a real fake gun in the movie. It's pretty obvious by how whenever she shoots there's no recoil. Too bad. Little girls with big guns are so cute! Emma Stone is pretty hot as the big sister and love interest, appearing pretty mature for someone who was only 9 years old in '97. Woody Harrelson does a very good job as the cowboy type who doesn't take kindly to the consistency of coconut, and Jesse Eisenberg is pretty convincing as the OCD dork with the list of rules on how not to get bit by the undead. Zombieland is easily the best feel-good movie of the year. That is, if you're the sort of person who feels really good about reanimated corpses. I know I am.
Boobies can be pretty scary. Don't I know it
In other news: today I got my first three movies on HD DVD! Two of them have a regular DVD version on the flip side, but there's a good chance I will never be able to play the third one at home ever! There's nothing quite as adorable as an obsolete home video format. As a kid I used to be fascinated with laser discs. They're just so... big! A few weeks ago they showed someone playing (and flipping) a laser disc on Californication, and it was almost as creepy as watching Kathleen Turner talk about her soaking wet genitalia.
Does anyone remember D-VHS?
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