Thursday, May 31, 2012

Agent B. Approves (Elfman Double Feature Part II)

Yesterday I went to see Men in Black 3, and surprisingly enough, it was actually pretty good! I've always loved the original Men in Black (despite my deep, burning hatred for everything that is Will Smith), but the 2002 sequel was a huge letdown (I think the script went something like: "Here's a weird looking alien, here's another weird looking alien, and hey look, over there we've got another weird looking alien. The End") so I was more than a little suspicious this time around, which is why I couldn't be happier to find the new movie deliciously delightful and just so, so much fun! I mean, who would have thought that transporting a gentleman of darker complexion with an attitude problem into the 1960s would actually be a good idea! If I thought '90s aliens were awesome then the '60s variety totally blew my mind, and you also get Andy Warhol played by a generic SNL comedian AND the profoundly hilarious Jemaine Clement (whose baby I definitely wouldn't mind having) as a big scary one-armed time-traveling space alien! I also found it pretty funny that in a sci-fi comedy about time travel, the only thing that didn't make sense to me was how a smoking hot piece of ass like the unnaturally lovely Alice Eve turns into Emma Thompson in only 40 years' time, because we all know what Mrs. Thompson looked like when she was younger, and she was never that hot, or even at all. Which is a little weird, but also says a lot about the quality of the script, written by some Jewish guy I've never heard of whose writing credits include Madagascar 2. Yeah. Hopefully they'll hire him once again to write MIB4: Black Suits on the Grassy Knoll, in which we'll finally learn who fake-assassinated America's first Alpha-Centauri-Catholic president and why there were no evidence of his long fluffy double-ended tail at the scene of the supposed crime.

Alice Eve desperately wants you to look up her nude scenes from Crossing Over and fap to them like the diseased, sex starved chimps that you know you are

And guess what! I got to see the movie in spectacular, jaw-dropping 2D! Thank you Yes Planet for not making my eyes bleed from the awful fake 3D!

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