Today I went to see Tron: Legacy and found that it is easily the best thing the good evil people at Disney have produced in the last 70 years, which shouldn't really say much, but it totally does! I mean, sure, the CGI Jeff Bridges looks like it was animated by Pixar (that's not a good thing) and the 3D wasn't all that impressive, but other than that it was the best movie I've seen all year that wasn't Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. The visuals are breathtaking, the action scenes are fantastic, the story is very cool and sort of dark (in a PG sort of way), both simple and complex and never too stupid or boring, just like one would expect from a script written by the guys who wrote and produced most of Lost, and if you're a fan of Daft Punk or of cool music in general then you're in for a treat, because the movie's score is one of the best ones I have ever, ever heard. The acting was OK too, in the sense that I was never really offended by any of the actors' performances. I even finally get now why everybody always says Olivia Wilde is so hot! It took quite a drastic makeover, and it's not like I'm going to start watching House now, but I definitely wouldn't mind playing Hide the Cocktail Weenie with her. Tron: Legacy is everything the original Tron wanted to be but couldn't and so, so much more, and I'm definitely going to see it again as soon as I at least partially recover from the effects of the explosive audio-visual orgasm that this movie is. Oh, and speaking of the original Tron, I watched it again a few days ago to prepare myself for the new movie and I think that all things considered it still holds up pretty nicely, and that the reason that the CGI sequences in it are so, well, ugly, isn't the limitations of '80s technology, but the fact that it was created by '80s computer geeks who may or may not have been color blind. It was the '80s after all, a time in history when color blindness seemed to be a global epidemic. I just hope that the new movie's merchandise that's going to be available online now will be nothing but boring, useless crap, otherwise my poor little credit card is going to be in big, big trouble.
Olivia Wilde looks even nicer as a freaky cyber organism!
So, anyway, I was watching this obese, middle-aged woman with no clothes on sucking on a chubby dude half her age on live webcam this morning, when suddenly it hit me: I really need a girlfriend. Sigh.
And here is a bonus haiku, based on a true story:
I saw this biker
Who looked just like Jek Porkins
I was left speechless
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