Hottest. Werewolf. EVER. (Elfman Double Feature Part I)

This week I went to see Dark Shadows, and it was easily the most fun I've had at a Tim Burton film since 1999! Sure, it's kinda dumb and utterly forgettable, the script is a huge mess, Jonny Lee Miller is tragically underused and Eva Green is just plain gross (which brings to mind the Fellatio Theorem), but the whole vampires and witches and ghosts aspect was thoroughly entertaining, Bella Heathcote is oh so very pretty, Chloë Moretz is seriously creepy as a surprisingly luscious and frightfully illegal teenage girl, the soundtrack is loaded with neat '70s songs (which was a nice addition to the usual Danny Elfman poomlah-poomlah-poomlah routine), and yeah, the whole movie is basically one big goofy cheese ball chock full of silly horror soap goodness. The biggest problem I had with Dark Shadows was that it's just a movie and not a two-hour pilot episode for a new television remake of the original show, because I would definitely watch the poop out of something like that.

The Australians are coming - better hide the women and children.

Also: the sexiest werewolf chick I have ever, ever seen. And that includes Katharine Isabelle in Ginger Snaps, Julie Delpy in American Werewolf in Paris, Judy Greer in Cursed and even Meghan Ory in Once Upon a Time.

Haiku of the Day: Black and White Redheads are Still Pretty Amazing

My Kindle and I
We're growing closer as friends
Jacked off to E-ink.

I'm so used to going incognito that I totally forgot clearing your browser history was still a thing. Thank you Kloe Kane!

Ode to Sunglasses

Fatties Gonna Fat

(Crudely drawn on two A4 sheets of paper without tracing, comparing or revising frames while looking at a much better GIF animation. In other words, I have no idea what I'm doing.)

Haiku of the Day: The Boldest of All Experiments

Dating sites are great
For collecting excuses
For rejecting me

The Avengers: Complete and Unabridged Review

So, today I finally went to see The Avengers, and found it to be grossly overrated.

The End.

Now, this is where I wanted to send a big thank you to the (eventually) kind people at Yes Planet who've been starting to give movie goers the option to see 3D movies in glorious, eye-popping, mouth-watering 2D, but they lost all their points today when they allowed a large group of the most monstrous little children I have ever had the displeasure to witness to enter the theater unaccompanied by an adult. Shame on you.

And here is a photo of Cobie Smulders in her underwear, because apparently pictures of hot chicks are all my blog is good for

Haiku of the Day: I already miss Community

Dear Alison Brie:
If I thought I might be gay,
Would you sleep with me?

I'm still not going to watch Mad Men though, not even for her