Saturday, October 16, 2010

Heartbroken once again

So I was watching the half season premiere of Caprica last week (which is easily the best thing on TV right now) when this totally cute little chickiepoo appears on my screen for a couple of minutes and then quickly disappears in a glorious blaze of unholy fire, and I was all like, man, the casting people on this show really do know how to pick the prettiest Canadian chicks alive today, but there wasn't really much else I could do about it, so I let it go. A couple of days later I was watching the latest Fringe episode, and what do you know! That very same young lady appeared in it, and she actually got to do some acting! And she wasn't awful at it at all! Naturally I took it as a sign from my favorite imaginary deity that she and I are destined to some day make sweet and passionate love in my head, and so I set out to look up some information about her online. Most importantly I wanted to find out how old she is, so I could know just how legal my love for her was. You see, not unlike a certain Mr. Scott Pilgrim, I too suck pretty bad at guessing how old women are, and really, how can you even tell these days (see comment at the bottom of this post)? Unfortunately, all IMDB could offer me was a very short and incomplete list of her TV roles (her Caprica credit wasn't even up there, though it is now) and a couple of modelling shots supposedly taken last month in which she looks about twelve years old (not too legal then). This is what one of them looks like:

So pretty. So very very pretty. And yet...

There was one other thing I found, but it took me a few days to fully realize what it meant. I didn't want to believe it, but in the end I was forced to accept it as the cold, brutal truth. It was a Twitter account, and as hard as it is for me to admit it, it is probably really her who keeps filling it to the brim with post upon post of brainless teenage drivel. Sigh. And on TV she looked like such a cool person! I don't know, I guess she could be technically over 18, but I just find it extremely difficult to have wrong lusty feelings for women I could never imagine having an interesting conversation with, and so I am sad to announce the early demise of yet another brief and hopeless crush. May it forever rest in peace in hopeless crush heaven.

(Note: have you ever noticed how you can ask pretty much any question and then add something like "how can you even know these days?" or "who the hell can even tell these days?" and it becomes instantly cool? I sure have. Some day I'm going to make a hilarious cranky old dude.)

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