Saturday, March 12, 2011

I'd definitely perform fellatio on her dad

Earlier this month I finally went to see the foul mouthed puppets of Red Band perform live on stage, and it was pretty awesome, despite the surprisingly high number of douches in the crowd. The thing is, while the second opening band was so awful that it almost made me throw up all the cheap local beer I didn't have that evening (unsexy skinny chicks who think they're sexy are pretty unsexy, no matter how many morons cheer for them), the first opening band was one of the best Israeli acts I've seen in a long, long time. Possibly ever. Also, the hottest one I've seen. Quite definitely ever.

So yes Adi Ulmansky, even though I've read that a few years ago you were on the Israeli version of Pop Idol or whatever it's called these days, I would most definitely like to swallow your gum. Especially if by 'swallow' you mean nibble on, and by 'gum' you mean your labia minora. But even if you just mean a regular piece of chewing gum, and it's really been inside your mouth, and you really want me to put it inside mine and swallow it down so it would stay in my big fat belly for the next seven years or so, then yeah, still, totally, definitely, gladly.

Update: I'm totally screwed!

See also: Lorena B live, January 2012

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