Sunday, January 22, 2012

She can chop mine off any day

Last night I went to see Israeli post-dubstep band Lorena B perform live at the Barby in Tel-Aviv, and as expected, it was pretty damn awesome, even though I have absolutely no idea what post-dubstep means. I first saw Lorena B about a year ago, and I liked them so much that I immediately posted a bunch of inappropriate comments about the unspeakable acts I had wished to perform upon their singer's person. A couple of weeks later she made a post on her Facebook about my post, which freaked me out so bad that up until now I haven't allowed myself to see the band live again. Why did I go this time then? Perhaps I've grown a little during the past ten months, or maybe it was simply the fact that the Barby is located only a ten minute bus ride away from me. Whatever the reason may be, the important thing is that I did go to see them last night, and I was thrilled to find that since last March Lorena B has turned from a great little band with an obscene amount of potential into a full-blown musical monster act that produces some of the most exciting and original sounds I've had the pleasure of hearing this side of the Mediterranean. When I heard the first couple of singles from their new EP I was a little worried, because they kind of sounded to me like pretty much everything they play on the British MTV Dance these days, but up-to-date music should not be mistaken for being merely fashionable, and I have no problem admitting that I was completely wrong. Last night was a lot of fun. So, so much fun. I've had so much fun that I didn't even care that it was pretty hard to find anyone over 30 in the club, because once the band started playing it didn't really matter anymore. Lorena B are simply that good.

Thanks a bunch Adi Ulmansky for not pointing at me during the show and saying "look everybody, that fat ugly guy is a big creepy perv!"

And yes, Adi Ulmansky, the band's singer/songwriter, is still totally fucking hot, but that is no reason to be disrespectful, or so I've been told. True, she is absolutely gorgeous, she's unnaturally talented, her stage presence is magnetic and the beautiful sounds that come out of her throat make you feel like she's making sweet, filthy love to the entire club, but there's no way I'm going to make the same mistake again and describe what she made my bikini areas feel like. I may have missed almost all of the video art on the screen behind her, because one would have to be completely dickless in order to look away from her when she's performing on stage, but I'm still not going to tell you what it was that I had to do yesterday before the show in the privacy of my own home in order to avoid any potential awkwardness. Twice. Because that, would be wrong. So wrong.

I'm not going to embed any of Lorena B's videos here, because that's what got me into trouble in the first place, but you can easily find them on YouTube. Look for Waste, ReFeel, Not Enough and UR, or listen to their fantastic cover of Nirvana's Lithium!

Last night was Lorena B's last Israeli show for a long while, since in two weeks they're flying to the UK, and I so I would like to wish them all the luck in the world even though they don't really need it, because with that kind of sound, and that kind of talent, and that kind of singer, there is absolutely no reason for them not to become totally fucking huge.

Also, nice gams!

See also: Crime and Punishment.

(Update: Lorena B and Adi Ulmansky, Y U NO leave me all by my alone on Facebook? All I ever wanted was to be a creepy weirdo by myself and get zero traffic as usual. So lame)

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