Monday, August 8, 2011

How to Know You're in a Movie, Part 1

If you're not completely sure if you're in a movie or in real life at any given time, a good way to tell the difference is to observe bullet injuries. Here's how:

The before part. Everything's cool, except that you still don't know if you're in a movie or not.


If the edges of the bullet wound are raised, and the actual wound doesn't seem to penetrate the victim's skin, you're probably living in a movie. Hooray! Enjoy eating as much cake as you'd like without gaining any weight and making out with strippers and hookers who look like supermodels!

If the bullet wound goes deep into the victim's flesh, I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you: this is real life. Sucks to be you.

And if you can't find any gunshot victims, just look for a thing in a mask!

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