I really hope they signed a prenup, otherwise Mr. Brand will probably get to keep one |
Dear Katy Perry
May I have coitus with you
Now that you're single?
Did you know that all members of the Coleslaw tribe have a genetic disorder that turns their splooge bright green? |
Also, now that we know your type:
I'm unattractive
People don't think I'm funny
Why not marry me?
And I couldn't agree with you more:
My sweet Katy P.
Babies sure are disgusting
I'm fine with condoms.
Unless you change your mind:
If you get knocked up
I'd still love your round body
Just watch what you eat.
At the very least,
If I can't have you,
Will you please pose nude online?
Full frontal will do.
Because, you know,
Most women have boobs
Some have spectacular ones
Like Katy Perry!
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