Thursday, January 26, 2012

Lycans and Vampires and Boobs, OMFG!

A couple of days ago I went to see Underworld: Awakening in 3D, and it was so great to see that Kate Beckinsale is still totally hot, even at the ripe old age of 38. I wasn't really expecting much from the fourth installment in the Underworld series, but I actually had loads and loads of fun watching it! For the price of admission you get non-stop action, a story that is actually kind of interesting in an obvious sort of way, some very nice gore shots, cool looking vampires, big scary werewolves (both the CGI and the guy-in-a-rubber-suit variety), a smoking hot Kate Beckinsale in a tight black outfit (and also out if it), a gorgeous little 12 year old hybrid girl (man, was I relieved to find out later that the actress who plays her is actually 18) and a 3D experience that is actually worth the extra 8 shekels, despite the film's dark, blue-tinted color scheme (I guess there's a reason why the Hebrew title of the series is War of Darkness). Swedish directors Måns Mårlind and Björn Stein did a very nice job with this sequel and proved that they actually know how to shoot a movie in 3D, so they better hurry up and start working on Underworld 5: Revenge of the Vamp MILF as soon as possible, preferably before Ms. Beckinsale hits 40, because there is nothing sadder in the whole wide world than a formerly beautiful woman. If you saw Lauren Holly on Lost Girl this week, you know exactly what I mean.

During my early 20s I went through this phase where basically all I did was play FreeCell and jack off to pictures of Kate Beckinsale. This is what she looked like back then, which oddly enough, really isn't all that different from how she looks now. Good for her.

Bonus haiku:

Oh Kate Beckinsale,
How I want to make sweet love
To your lovely face.

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