Tuesday, November 17, 2009

$6M in the '70s, $50M in 2007. Stupid economy.

Today I finished watching the canceled 2007 version of The Bionic Woman (simply titled Bionic Woman, without the 'the' part, which of course makes it completely different) starring British actress Michelle Ryan. For obvious reasons I really enjoyed watching it, even though it wasn't that great. The action was pretty good, but the writing and acting left a lot to be desired. Not that that was a good reason to go and cancel it like that after only eight episodes. Since when does mediocre writing prevent a TV show from getting a fourth season? That's just silly, especially when you consider a show like Bionic Woman, which had one thing going for it that very few shows come even a tiny bit close to. That is, the lovely Michelle Ryan, playing the titular role of Jaime Sommers, the chick with robotic parts stuffed into her. Boy, would I like to stuff robot parts into her. As anyone can clearly see, Ms. Ryan's physicality is the stuff dreams are made of. She's just so unmistakably female it's remarkable. And ridiculous. And annoying. There's absolutely no reason for anyone to look their gender in such an obvious way. I mean, even the manliest of men have nipples! For Bionic Woman she used an American accent (with the help of a dialect coach), and it sounds pretty convincing. In one of the episodes, however, her character goes undercover as a British student, and that means that she gets to use her real British accent, which is like the hottest thing I've ever seen on American television. Another character even makes a comment about how outrageously hot she sounds that way. That would be the stock character of the geeky tech guy, who in my opinion was actually the most likable character in the whole thing. He didn't really do much other than drool over Ms. Ryan, which made him completely believable. It's pretty ridiculous to assume that any healthy male would be able to do anything but that in her fragrant presence. Mind you, I'm not completely out of touch with reality. She may look extremely cool on screen, but while looking through some photos of her I've noticed that whenever she's not clothed and styled by TV professionals she actually tends to look pretty trashy, which some dudes may like, but I don't. This may mean that she's much better an actress than she is a person, as often is the case with hot chicks, even the ones who are not professional actresses. Um. No, that doesn't sound right. Every hot chick in the world is basically a professional actress, it's just that some of them don't get paid for it. Hmm. No, that's not right either. Every hot chick in this world is a professional actress, and they all get paid for it, in one way or another. Gawd I hate them.

Michelle Ryan, pretending to be naked

The only reason I've been watching Merlin, which is a BBC series about knights and wizards and dragons and other poofy stuff of that sort, is because I was promised that Michelle Ryan was in it. So far I've watched eight episodes on VOD, and she's only been in like two of them. Oh well. No harm done. It's not like I've been watching them sober or anything.

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