Saturday, November 21, 2009

Like a zombie movie, only with not as many undead people

A couple of day ago I watched Blindness, based on a novel by Portuguese author José Saramago. It was OK, I guess. The basic plot is that people all over start going blind, probably because of some kind of infection, and the infected are quarantined away from the rest of society, whatever's left of it. Most of the film takes place in some old abandoned hospital or something, where a big bunch of newly blinded people (and one Julianne Moore with a fully functional set of ocular organs) who start off as complete strangers have to stay together and somehow manage to survive, shut away from the outside world. As time progresses and food is getting scarce, everybodys animal, assholy side starts showing. Kinda like in every zombie movie I've ever seen. And just like in Romero's original Dead trilogy, the cause of the blindness phenomenon is never explained, or even discussed. The main problem I had with this movie is that there aren't any zombies in it. A huge mass of rotting undead dudes crowding around the hospital would've made it into a so much more entertaining film. As it is, the big villain here (aside from the usual human assholes) is a physical disability. And it's not even like the subject is really explored, other than showing us what happens when a hundred newly blinded people use the same icky old bathroom. Not that poop isn't funny, it totally is, I just think that there's more to going blind than poor hygiene. Most of the movie is just your usual "people confined to a closed space, people turn to animals" thing, which isn't too bad, it's just not very original. I guess the "bring us your woman" part was sort of cool, but for rather obvious reasons I don't really get the point of having sex when you can't see anything. And oh yeah, thank you, whoever made this film, thank you so much for making me see what 48 year old boobs look like. I really needed to see that. Thanks, really. I wonder at what stage exactly freckles on women turn from cute to icky. I mean, don't get me wrong, Julianne Moore is a very attractive woman, and had she really been fixed I'd have totally loved to finish my business inside her, but the sad fact is that she's seven years older than Mark Ruffalo, and most of the time she looks more like his mom than his wife, which I guess makes some sort of sick sense considering her role in the film. There's this guy who keeps recommending me to read something by José Saramago, but there's just no way. Reading about his writing style in Wikipedia made me queasy enough.

Julianne Moore, in perkier times

The same day I watched Blindness I also watched Primer, but I don't have much to say about it, mostly because I didn't quite understand most of it. Primer is a micro budget time travel movie, and the only reason I've even heard of it was because I like xkcd. It's like, I could tell that it's a really good film, the acting is very good and the photography is excellent for such a tiny budget, but the plot and dialogs are so technical and unnecessarily complicated that most of the time I just zoned out and waited for it to end. I didn't suffer too much, because it really isn't a bad film at all, it just left me very confused and made me feel really really dumb.

No comments:

Post a Comment