Sunday, October 9, 2011


Four Movies in Eight Days, Part III: Real Steel, which I went to see today, is a heart warming coming-of-age sports drama about a father and son team who try to train a humble boxer for the world championship. Why did I like it so much then? Because of all the friggin' ROBOTS! Big robots! Mean robots! AWESOME ROBOTS!!! I didn't even have any problems ignoring all the parts of the movie that didn't have them (and I'm pretty sure there was like half an hour near the end that didn't have ANY robots) because whenever I did get to see robots fighting on the screen it was the coolest thing I've seen in a long, long while! And guess what! Who got to play the role of the supportive chick back home? Why, it's none other than friggin' Evangeline Lilly, the finest piece of ass on the set of Lost for six whole years! That's right: awesome fighting robots AND Evangeline Lilly! And you even get Phil LaMarr as some sort of sports commentator, for some reason! Totally. Fucking. Awesome. What didn't I like about the movie? Well, there's a little boy in it. Eww. And as if that wasn't bad enough, the kid also dances. With the robot. Yeah. What's even worse is that Ms. Lilly's freckles aren't very prominent in the movie, which is a real shame, because in Lost her beautifully freckled skin was one of the top reasons why I liked the show so much. But in the end, even though the plot in Real Steel doesn't always make too much sense, it's still a very cool film that totally brought out my deep love for all things robot, and for that I will cherish it forever.


You know what's really creepy about cute little boys? I think it's how they always look like if you'd slap a vagina on them and add like ten years they'd turn into hot chicks, while in reality they usually end up as dudes, which is just about the most useless thing I can think of. What a waste.

Bonus love haiku:

I want to make love
To Evangeline Lilly
In the vagina.

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