Friday, October 16, 2009

Grumpy - away!

Yesterday I watched Land of the Lost in 720p. I was going to start by saying that I watched it without any previous knowledge of the franchise, other than viewing the 1974 show's intro on YouTube once, which seemed incredibly dumb to me. However, while looking through YouTube today I came across the intro of the 1991 version, and then it hit me. Back in the early '90s, I was actually a pretty big fan of the show, a fact that I completely forgot until 24 hours after I watched the movie. Not only is the theme song ridiculously catchy (with lines like "We've opened the door / and found dinosaurs" and "'Cause some tyrannosaurus / could be hungry for-us") but the creature effects are just spectacular, even by today's standards, which I guess is the main reason why I liked it so much as a kid. The effects were created by the Chiodo brothers, who also created the creepy clowns in Killer Klowns from Outer Space, and the animatronics looked as good as only early '90s animatronics could look. Anyway, I really liked the new Land of the Lost movie. I didn't used to care much for Will Ferrell, until I realized that after three or four beers his movies become pretty enjoyable. This movie, however, did not require booze of any kind for me to like it. Any movie that's got dinosaurs and isn't a kids' movie is fine by me, especially one with such cool looking sci-fi/fantasy elements. It's also sort of funny, in an obvious SNL-ish sort of way. Now, what really sets this movie apart is its most special of special effects, meaning the pure and awesome loveliness that is Miss Anna Friel. I totally fell for her ever since I watched the first episode of Pushing Daisies, and my love for her grows deeper and deeper every day I find a new topless photo of her. She sure looks purdy with no shirt on. Land of the Lost was the first time I've ever seen her in high resolution video, and her delightfully freckled skin and overall adorableness absolutely mesmerized me, with her running around in a tank top and short shorts, getting her boobs felt up by humans and apes alike and getting sprayed all over with dino drool, which to me looked suspiciously similar to a gigantic load of man goo. Gawd bless whoever came up with the idea to cover Anna Friel with gooey slime. It's such a lovely image I could cry, maybe even out of my eyes. There's a movie called Niagara Motel that's been sitting in my hard drive for a few months now, but I keep putting off watching it, because it's got several scenes that feature her boobs, which could make watching the movie sort of, well, complicated. Seriously, someday, someone should make it illegal to be this hot. It's unnatural and ungodly and it makes regular people want things they could never ever have, not in a million years. Caroline Dhavernas is also in Niagara Motel, playing a hooker or something, but that's a whole other crush, and an equally powerful one.

Anna Friel, wearing clothes

Land of the Lost was never released in theaters here, which is a real shame. For some reason, they almost never release Will Ferrell movies here. Weird. I guess no one payed much attention to the fact that in one of the last scenes in the movie you can see the Israeli Moran Atias playing some kind of primitive chick and showing a generous amount of sideboob. Film distributors here are dumb. Sigh.

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