Tuesday, April 5, 2011


Last week I won a free ticket to David Cronenberg's eXistenZ at the Holon cinematheque, and I couldn't possibly be happier about it! I absolutely love eXistenZ. I adore it. It's one of my favorite movies EVER, and watching such a beautiful film print of it on the nice, big screen they have there was such a wonderful, joyous experience for me. It's such a tragedy that ever since the '90s ended Cronenberg only makes regular movies, the kind that don't have any rubber monsters in them. I mean, seriously, gangsters? Who the hell gives a shit about gangsters, especially when you can have giant insects that ejaculate psychotropic drugs instead? Or gun carrying stomach vaginas? Or people who stick their tongues into the bases of other people's spines? Man, if I had a bio-port on my ass I would stick stuff up there all day long and spend the rest of my life in a game reality that's basically one continuous intimate moment with Jennifer Jason Leigh circa 1998. Oh yeah. An intimate butt moment.

I wish I was a game pod grown from amphibian genetic material

The screening of eXistenZ was part of this little digital culture convention they held at the cinematheque last weekend, so before the movie they had five short lectures about reality, existence and technology, which were actually pretty interesting. When this one doctor lady talked about how the online world is so immerssive that some people who are as old as the people in the audience have such little interest in the real world that they are still virgins, in no way did my face turn as bright red as Little Benny did when Jude Law and Ms. Leigh were lubing up each other's bio-ports. There was also this totally hot lady there, who I think is the director of the cinematheque, and she kept taking photos of everything. And so, I found these two on Facebook:

Faceless Ben is listening intently,
while desperately trying to find something to do with his hands

Finally, here is a bonus haiku just for you, pretty cinematheque lady:

Women with glasses
Look smart and geeky and hot
Even if they're not.

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