Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Long live the new flesh

I watched David Cronenberg's The Brood earlier this week, and it was totally awesome. I just love that scene where that chick licks off that thing she rips out of that other thing she's got hidden under there. Very creepy stuff. David Cronenberg used to make such cool movies, too many to mention. I have no idea why he insists on making only regular movies these days. Money, maybe. I guess they're not that bad, but they're not that great either. What a shame. And what's with Darren Aronofsky for that matter? His first three movies were so good (Pi is extremely cool, Requiem for a Dream is utterly depressing yet beautiful and The Fountain is one of the most incredible films of our times, especially if you've read the director's cut graphic novel) but then for some reason he decided to make this realistic drama (barf) about a big old guy who pretends to make out with other big guys on stage for cash and his stripper girlfriend and his daughter with the really nice teeth. WTF?! If I wanted to see Marisa Tomei's boobs, I'd, um... uh..... no, I don't want to see Marisa Tomei's boobs. No thanks. Really. It's ok. And then I read somewhere that his next movie is going to be about dancer chicks! Dancing! The most ridiculous art form after poetry! And it's supposed to have an "aggressive sex scene" between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis (did you know that her mom's name is Elvira? isn't that insane?). Knowing those two JAPs and Aronofsky I would guess we're not even going to see any boobage. What a total waste of time. Even Jennifer Connelly only showed a little bush in Requiem. Ooh, hair. And how aggressive can a lesbo scene get anyway? What, is it going to be like, "Oh no, please stop attacking me with your tiny wet squishy vagina, you're being way too slimily aggressive"? Sex scenes should stay in porn, where they rightfully belong.

In other news, Fräulein [removed] made me remove all mentions of her name from this blog. I guess it's just me from now on. Yay.

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